Before the turn of another year

What is this?  A blog?  One I’ve been neglecting no doubt.  I made a mental note to update at least once a month.  Haven’t said anything in December so far and it’s almost over.  When I created this blog it was my intention to document my thoughts or any epiphanies I thought was worth sharing with those back home.  Recently, my desire to come up with “thought-provoking” entries has waned.  It could be the latest manifestation of writer’s block temporary in nature or it could be a real reflection of shifting priorities.  My habits have led me to attempt to finish a journal I’ve had since 2006, something I hadn’t written in on a regular basis until sometime earlier this year.  I’ve been struggling to get myself back in the mood for blogging and to a certain extent, reading for pleasure/my own curiousities, two things I did quite readily.  Either way, forgive me if this blog continues to witness sporadic commentary.

I’m trying not to get so caught up in the “shoulds”, my own perceptions of I ’should be doing this’ or I ’should have achieved this by now’.  We come into things on our own time and can’t expect that our interests and motivations will be the same at any given moment in time. The past few weeks I’ve been in and out of my routine.  First I was on Pilgrimage and then a week later I spent a short time in Spain.  I was grateful for the little Spanish I had studied before my vacation as English in the south of Spain was minimal except for a few who needed it in their line of work or from other travellers who I ran into every now and again.  Since I only knew enough of the language to get by, I certainly wasn’t having many conversations.  Needless to say, it was a fairly quiet time where I relied on my wits, prayer, the kindness of strangers and some ingenuity.

Although I was fine with independent traveling for the most part, there were certain moments which made me realize the necessity of connecting with others.  For example, when I was eating lunch on a park bench in Granada I had simple interactions with a woman and her baby sitting on the adjacent bench and with the older man sharing mine.  Words never went beyond an ‘hola’ or an ‘adios’ but something about it affected me after both parties departed.  Maybe I was feeling particularly alienated in that city compared to the perceived warmth of Sevilla and wanted some acknowledgement.

I wouldn’t take back the experience though.  There were times when I fell in love listening to someone play flamenco guitar outside of the Alcazar in Sevilla near sundown.  Got to experience fall as I remembered it with the changing leaves and buttoning up of jackets.  Somehow got around as a first time independent traveler with limited language skills.  And made it back home despite missing my flight and having to wait another nervewracking day in the aiport in Madrid.

2010 is approaching in a mere 6 days.  New Years Eve will mark my 3rd year of being a Bahai.  I don’t know what this coming year will bring, but do we ever?